NagoyaHammer.com

As good as this site is, it lacks one thing needed to make it epic.


When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.




It is now epic.

Ah, the obligitory Chuck Norris thing.

I have never heard those jokes your killing me...

I have never heard those jokes your killing me...

Not to worry. There are PLENTY more.

More you say... I am not sure I can handle more...

# Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
# Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday
# When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
# Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
# The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
# Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
# The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
# A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
# Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
# Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
# Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.


and my personal favourite;

# Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

Admiral-Badruck wrote:I have never heard those jokes your killing me...

Really? Wow, they have been around on the net for a long long time.

your killing me mate... I had better not drink anything before I read this thread it will be coming out my nose...