Leaving the Schtroumpfwald

[The Other Dave]

While hundreds of Schtroumpflings slept, many in pools of their own vomit, after a wild mushroom-fueled revel, the War Council (such as it was) met and commiserated.

"So we ain't going to be able to avoid a scrap, eh?" Said the Schtroumpf-fatha, looking down at the rough map scrawled in the dirt beside the dying fire.

"Aye, boss," said Finka, "Them elves can move faster than us, 'specially in this terrain, and if they want a fight we's goin' to have to give 'em one. And it looks like they want one."

"Hrm. Well, jus' remember, fellas, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, eh?" Their leader was clearly trying his best to put a brave face on things.

"Well." Fatty Schtroumpf cleared his throat. He was newest to the Council, and not sure of his authority yet.

"Well, what?"

"Well. And Elves, boss."

The Schtroumpf-fatha sniffed. "Well, Elves, sure, that goes wifout sayin', don't it?" He nodded sagely. Funny-smellin' gobbers, didn't smell natural. "The only things we have to fear are fear itself, and Elves."

There was a pause, as all the goblins regarded the map and the fire.

"Them tree guys look well frightenin' too, y'ask me," grumbled Surly Schtroumpf, the most powerful of the cabal of remaining shamans, scratching at his nose.

"Aye, that they do, that they do. All rustlin' and droppin' leaves ev'rywhere, long scratchy fingers." The Schtroumpf-fatha sighed. "OK. The only things we have to fear are fear itself, Elves, and tree guys." He thought for a moment. "Oh. And eagles, can't forget them. Big ol' talons and what-not."

The next pause was somewhat longer. The fire crackled. A Schtroumpfling somewhere in the distance vomited explosively.

"Can we just go home, boss?" said Finka in a quiet voice.

The Schtroumpf-fatha peered at him critically in the dim flickering light before turning back to his drink and taking a long pull. More time passed.

"Boss?"

"I'm thinkin'!"

[The Underdweller]

Lol, poor Schtroumpfs! Those tree guys are pretty scary, alright!

[job]

Ah, your schtroumpflings party hard.

The episodes are always very entertaining to read. Humorous and very inventive. Keep up the writing! I look forward to seeing what happens after this next battle.