*** Salamandar ***
“I’ve got Lord Talonveriel being held ransom by Dwarves in the East, Tancred Von Quenelles crying insult in the West…”
“My Lord, you can hardly be expected to attend a child’s…”
“Oh, and the sickening stench of Skaven seems to be such the flavor of the season that I can’t put a spoon to my mouth without gagging from it!"
“My L…”
“So, why in good Ariel’s name, should I send a party of Asrai South through one of the most hostile regions on some ridiculous quest to confirm a rumor of a rumor that may or may not have been spread by the very creature that would relish our destruction? Are you an adviser or a jester? You certainly dress the part! And by Isha, man, remove those revolting droppings from your cloak!”
In hindsight, thought the spell singer, morning was never when one would find Lord Aldaeld most agreeable. Still, things were moving faster than he had anticpated. For good or worse, he knew not, but whatever the cause the result remained the same. They must leave immediately. Time, he thought, for a different tact.
“Very well, my Lord, I will inform Lady Liyanevacia of your wise decision. Oh, Lord Findol from Crag Hall and his party will arrive tonight. Do you wish me to extend your greetings upon his arrival or will you be welcoming him yourself, along with Lady Liyanevacia?”
Well, at least that got him to close his mouth. A shame about the frightening scowl, though, he was not very attractive to begin with. Scowling made him look like a rancorous carp. Opps.
“Do I amuse you, wizard? Do you find Lord Findol and Lady Liyanevacia’s breech of common courteousy humourous?”
“Never, my Lord. I was merely recalling the hunt when your arrow split Lord Findol’s spear shaft with enough force to carry on and pierce the stag’s heart. I believe the shot also won you Lord Findol’s beloved hunting hawk, did it not?”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you are doing Salamandar. Such scheming does not deserve the use of your title. Though even you are not foolish enough to have orchestrated this affront, especially when no other Hall would have you. This is her doing.
“My Lord?”
“Oh, you lie just as well as you dress. Go. Tell Lady Liyanevacia I wish to see her. I shall inform her how she can repay me the loan of my Kinband for her futile quest."
“Very well, my Lord. Though I am afraid she only just now has returned from…”
“Oh, I know exactly where she has been. Tell her I want to see her and tell her to hurry up.”
The two eternal guards closed the doors behind him as Salamandar left poor Lord Aldaeld to fume and frighten his other attendees. As pressing and important as his current undertaking was, he still couldn’t resist sharing his small triumph even if it was with his Lord's stoical guard.
“Actually, it was my idea, you know. Simple, yet quite brilliant, if I may say so.”
Silence.
“Oh, I totally agree. Lords may be made of sticks and stones, but their pride will always hurt them.”
Silence.
“What? You haven’t heard that human adage?
Silence.
Honestly, you really should get out more. It must be very dull guarding a door. If you put your ear to it now and then, you might just pick up a good jest or two. Here’s one to mull over: What did the grumpy carp do when the duck stole its dragonfly?
Silence.
“Well, that’s alright. I suppose that’s why they chose you to guard the door. The answer my good friend is ‘carp’. The carp carped! I think I can even hear him carping on now, can’t you?”
Silence.
Salamandar shook his head and feigned a disapproving sigh.
“Perhaps it's the helmet. It’s not too tight, is it? Here, allow me.”
With a flash of light and a dramatic burst of feathers, he took wing. Salamandar the eagle then left his unsympathetic audience without a wit and without a helmet. Winter was on its way. It was time for the Asrai to fly south.